Grocery shopping law violated!

People who get irritated over stupid things irritate me. For example, I went shopping yesterday
and had the following encounter in the check out lane:


Self-Righteous Check Out Lady: Did you know this was the Express checkout?

(I was taken a little off guard not expecting a confrontation with the check out lady. I then took
an extra second to consider a million different possible responses but I couldn't decide which
response to give so I played it safe..)

Darin: Yes, ahuh.


(She was looking at me with a "You're in the principals office now you trouble maker" face. I was
clearly in violation of grocery store shopping law and she wasn't one of those slacker nice cashier
people who would just check me through the line anyway because it doesn't hurt anyone and
who honestly cares??? but she wanted to make sure I knew that this time I was caught; pulled
over by the illegal check-out line police. She was the Cop, Judge AND Jury.)

S-R Check Out Lady: The express lane is for people with 15 items or less. (...looking very
Purposefully into my basket of 25-30 offending items)

(I was putting my offensive items on the counter but she hadn't started checking them through
yet. I almost chuckled out loud when I realized she was seriously trying to reprimand me for this
heinous breach of grocery store policy.)
(I decided to be honest and reason with her. I'm a natural sarcastic, it was hard to not give in...)

Darin: The other checkout lines are backed up, this one is empty so I jumped in.

S-R Check Out Lady: We don't have baggers in the express lane.

Darin: Not a problem, I can bag my own groceries.

S-R Check Out Lady: If someone were to walk in behind you and see all of your items they might
be annoyed.

(Or the s-r check out lady might be annoyed. Are we seriously discussing this? I'm starting to
get annoyed.)
(I Purposefully looked behind me.)

Darin: Nobody is here but you and me. Which is why I chose this lane. Do you seriously expect
me to go to a different lane so I can wait another 10 minutes behind two people before being
checked out?
(Pause)
I'm a fast bagger.


She then proceeded to check me through appearing satisfied that she addressed the situation
and maybe because she singled me out this time that I won't do it again. I saved 28% and 8
minutes. I'd do it again.

One of a million responses: Take your next break outside. There's a big world out there past
those exit doors, you should check it out sometime.